Pregnant and abandoned #3

[blindsided1]

What do you do when you feel hopeless? I am feeling like that today. He's off in his new life with OW. I'm home alone pregnant. I just don't see it. I don't want to lose hope. But, there are days when I just don't feel like it will ever happen. I guess I am still expecting too much from him. I'm still trying to guess how he is feeling and I always tend to move towards the negative. I started thinking back to when this all started and how depressed he was because he said that he didn't know what to do. He had a choice to make and he didn't know if it was to be with me or with OW. He chose OW. I am trying to let that go, but it's really hard when he chose that life over his family and his first child that isn't even born yet. It makes me hate him for doing this and I start to wonder if this damage could ever be repaired. I just feel a little hopeless today that he'll never come home and I am not ready to accept that.