H said it has been more than a year. So I'm not horrible, but I've pushed him away for years. I would love it if he wrote a list of greivences or wrong doings. I don't think he knows WTH he can't stand me anymore.
Your H is probably so overwhelmed and confused right now that he couldn't verbalize his thoughts even if he wanted to. It really doesn't make any difference if it took a month, a year or whatever for you to push him away. It happened, it's done, you can't change it. I would probably avoid conversations like this if at all possible, as they really don't help matters at all - All that really happens is that you reaffirm his belief that there is a reason for him to leave.
From what I'm hearing, he certainly isn't behaving as if he can't stand you. Things aren't perfect, but he's around almost every day and seems to want to participate in family activities.
I agree with you Brit that he doesn't think I am a horrible person. He said he thought we were talking better, but he communicates nothing w/ me. It is almost like he wants me to act like the person in I was in the past so that he can justify what he is doing. I want to go back to being a big B...., but I know I shouldn't. I want to be selfish, but I know I can't. I just think I am making it too easy for him although I made the mistake of telling him that and he said that it has been real easy sleeping in the office and his car. I wanted to say you chose to leave but I didn't.
Today H is picking up D from skating as I have a work commitment. I am not making any arrangements for dinner. H will have to take care of that however he chooses. I am also letting H put the Ds to bed, get them up in the morning, get them ready and take them to school. He needs to walk a few hundred miles in my shoes.
