All I can hold on to is myself, kids and this site

[BEAUTYandWAH]

I am confused today because what myH is saying. He is in pain and confused... I think that's what he is trying to say... when he talks about him, most of the time, this is types of expression and I usually get confused.. 'what are you trying to say????' He says 'it's wired' 'i don't know' 'im crazy' very often.


This is what he says: "when i look at everything sometimes it hurts to see u so crused and hurt... its hard to care soo much about u but still think the way i do sometimes... i don't know why i feel like this... plus u have been there for me through thick and thin... i owe u so much for making me into the mature man i am...i cant explain myself... im just crazy..."


also said 'i just need a long time to figure out what im doing' 'not thinking about getting divorce anytime soon'

I thought about asking lots of questions but I thought I will not get good answer anyways so I just led it go.. I am getting so frustrated that he is so unhappy and depressed. I thought he left us to be happier but he is just being miserable. Why my kids, his family and I have been in crappy situation because of him...?

'Revenge' comes across my mind because I just don't see anything good coming anytime soon and feel like nothing to loose.


Holiday sucks!
Beauty