Willing to be disturbed...

[ediemarie]

So, looks like everyone is getting a ceramic pot for christmas this year. I still haven't done 1 lick of shopping - all well. I at least know what I'm getting everyone. It's just a matter of doing it - and of course, at the very least, everyone can get an EdieMarie original...won't that be nice? lol.

Just plugging away at home. Working on staying detached yet still loving and trying to communicate. H is more and more loving and seems to be really trying. Of course, not to the level I would like, but I'm about a full year ahead of him in figuring this stuff out. This time last year he still had 1 (or maybe both) foot in his R with OW and 1 foot or toe in our R. He finally seems like he's working on this in his own way. He mentioned this week about getting us new wedding rings for Christmas. I just said, hmm...that's an idea.

However, it's not rings I'm looking for, I'm wanting counseling. I didn't tell him that though. We'll see what the New Year brings...I don't want to push it with him. After releasing him a few weeks ago I took my rings off. I haven't had them on since. I don't plan on putting them back on without a plan (i.e. counseling) to get us back on track. I don't envision that conversation happening any time soon, and I'm not at all stressing about it - just thinking through the plan for when/if it does come up.

I'm planning on moving to New England in June. Most of my family is there and we only live here because this is where H wanted to live when we got married. I wasn't 100% sold on the idea, but agreed to do it thinking it would help him. I've applied for my teaching license and am in the process of looking for work - yippie! I don't know if H will come with me. He knows my plans and talks as if he is going to do the same, but he is one that has a difficult time pulling the trigger - I wouldn't doubt if at the last minute - like the day we go to move - he says he can't do it. It's that committment thing. All well, I don't need to worry about it now. I'm just forging ahead with my plans because it's what I want. I've done too much and made too many allowances for what he wants.

Hope everyone is doing well!!