WAW staying, I'm leaving to give her space..(2)

[jab]

Nothing really new today. Still moving my stuff to new apt. Tue is sentencing so I am pressed on time. Tomorrow will be very busy for me. I believe the impact should start hitting W soon since there are alot of items are starting to be 'missing' around the house (My stuff that has/being moved to new apt). I am leaving a few things in the house since I will be spending the weekends there mainly for kids sake.

W continues being talkative about work. Seems cheerful. No intimacy at all though which hurts. She now seems uncomfortable looking at me when getting in shower and vice versa. At least I notice it now, it might have been that way for awhile but we rarely pass each other in bathroom lately. I think things have just been stagnant since Friday. At least they haven't deteriorated any. Like I said, she's still talking and not acting angry or stressed out anymore.

Plans are W is still going to spend day (sentencing) with me on Tuesday. She plans on visiting my new apt for first time that afternoon after I get the 'ankle bracelet' secured to me.

Tomorrow night is the last night I get to be with her before we live in seperate places. I hope I don't get too depressed or emotional and start screwing up. I want to make her last moments with me before S something nice, something she will want more of. There is so much I want to say to her but can't right now, so many things I want to do with her but can't right now, I see her everyday but miss her so much if you know what I mean. 16 years is a long time, I don't want this to be an ending to our R/M, but a new beginning. I'm very sad on the inside but still acting ASIF on the outside and trying to have PMA.

It's kinda strange, right now I don't even want to date other women. They could be 'hot' and everything but I still consider my W my 'soulmate'. She knows more about me than even my mother. I really hope I'm doing the right thing, that this S moves along swiftly and has a positive impact. Like I said in previous posts, I think she is more beautiful now than when we met, I love her more now than I ever did and it's not just because I think I'm going to lose her (it's so ironic). I long for the day that W may be able to give me affection and love again, the day that we can share experiences and have fun together like we used to.

On the other hand, looking forward to my own place. It is small, I'll be lonely most likely for 60 days. But, it will be quite the place for my friends to hang out and watch movies, play video games, listen to music, all the guy stuff that I have been missing out on for the past couple of years. I can do whatever I want with my free time and plan to. I have alot of 'projects' that I want to work on. I just want to get this part of my life into the past and move on to better days. I have alot of old friends coming 'out of the woodwork' that want to visit me there and hang out. I hope W will want to 'hang out' with me sometime, too