All Hope is lost/Help - Part 2

[Evie]

Hi 25 mlc,

thanks for stopping buy and thanks for your comments and reassurance that i'm doing well. I needed to hear you say what you did more so today b/c i'm really confused.

H has a serious problem at work (really bad, but cannot discuss here atm)so he contacted me, i'm really the only person he could talk to about it, so we have had a lot of communication over the phone this weekend and i'm glad he felt he could confide in me and sought my opinion.

Really, i want to back off, but H contacts me every day, as i said in a previous post this would be a dream to most on the boards who are trying to achieve this. But i feel as if H is giving me mixed signals. How can he learn the cost of his freedom if he keeps on contacting me? He even comes into the house for 10 mins or so to chat when dropping off sons. I feel more bereaved from D1 who is in france and whom i've had very little contact with due to bad signals, no email etc.

We are getting on so much better apart than we were together, but I want more i want H home. I feel that h is in a place where he is happy with his lot is happy with the rountine, happy that he doesn't have the responsibilty of a r or the home and he is confusing the hell out of me.

Do i have to ignore all his calls/texts/emails and be out when I know he is dropping boys off? to get him to miss what he had here?

I don't ask him to do anything, he suggests things and b/c he does that it leads me into this false state of security and i risk getting rejected if I ask him to do something with me. I admit i'm guilty of it tonight: -

We planned to take the boys to church on xmas eve to the children's service. Today i found out about a more organised service but in a Cathedral which is in the city. We could park, catch the free bus into the city, have lunch then go to the service in the afternoon. I put the plan to H and he agreed. Without hesitation. Now I don't know what to do??

I have no expectations of our A, i planned to 'skip' a day of work, to go off on my own, I may still do it.

Anybody wiser than me have any advice to offer?? All advice welcome.

X Eve