Lil: I'm at my house alone tonight Lou: Alone???? What about all your cyber friends? I know cyber isn’t as good as in the flesh some times. Anyway, I think a few people are thinking about you.
You're right, Lou. Cyber friends are very special. Thank you.
Karen, bf has put up some decorations at his mom's apartment, and I've been lighting Hanukkah candles there. I'll be going back over there later today because I didn't bring my ankle's ice bath with me here. I have another doc appt tomorrow morning. Bf has to take his mom to chemo (she didn't have it Friday as originally planned), so I'll have to get myself there. The only thing I really need on an excursion is someone to put the wheelchair back in the car (I can get it out myself).
Bf's mom finally got a diagnosis of non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, which as most of you probably know, is bad. That's the stuff my good friend died from... diagnosed in February, gone by June. That was seven years ago, and there is a new drug, Rituxan, that is giving great results. But she's 89. How much time can she have in a best-case scenario? months? a year? a couple of years?
He is so closed off and remote and focused on her care (as I was with my late H) that he is going to hit a brick wall at full speed when it happens. There's really no way to prepare for it, or take steps in advance. Even when a death is expected or anticipated, when it HAPPENS, it's such a wrenching shock.
He has his AA group, and his therapist. I don't know if he will look to me for anything or not. He's not looking to me for much now. Although he is still performing Acts of Service. He's keeping my ice machine supplied with ice, and yesterday he put oil in my car. That's how he expresses love. No sweet words, no kisses, no hugs. And now *I* don't have my Happy Pills anymore.
