I think you are pretty close in your sitch to mine. I think the PMA and GAL work is much easier when concentrating on me and not W and OM. I have had to have a severe word with myself about snooping and specualtion about OM cos it sent me into downward spiral before. You've come a long way in a short period of time and are developing some great insights I think. Leave the OM issue alone and if you are going to have a positive R again with your W this will in large measure be down to her choosing and not you forcing. More OM talk / enquiries will not help her feel in control or in a position to choose.
On the C issue even you mentioning this to her I think could make her feel rushed. By all means I think you go but perhaps not even mention it.
Best, GFI
Me: 40ish W: 40ish Together: 20 ish years Married: 10ish Years
