I can see what you mean here. Mrs. Eddie once reported that it's easy for her to resist temptation when she reflects that it's a challenge keeping up with me... trying to keep up with two men would be utterly exhausting for her.
Okay, given that I would be in relationships with men who are openly polyamorous and therefore I wouldn't be hurting any puppy dogs by not being monogamous, I could probably take care of the "just sex" and physical affection needs of about 2.5 men. In terms of Acts of Service, I would be willing to provide about one meal for each of them a week, zero housework otherwise. In return, I would be good with being fed myself or minor car repairs/carpentry etc. would also be acceptable. In terms of quality time (other than the sex/cuddling) I would probably enjoy one fun outing a week with each of them if scheduling permitted if they paid or kept it cheap. In terms of gifts, I will provide them with thoughtfully chosen books of personal interest from my inventory and all I will expect nothing in exchange although I do like flowers and chocolate. In terms of words of affirmation, as always, I will be honest, polite and appreciative and say things like "I think you are a lovely man with a generous spirit." or "You are rather significantly well-endowed." or "That was more fun than a ride at Cedar Point!" or "I am exceedingly fond of you." and, of course, I will be happy to hear things like "You are sooooo sexy." and "You have put me in sensual overload." and "You are prettier than a basket of speckled puppies." and "I just called to to tell you how much I appreciated that book you chose for me." and "I can't begin to understand why your X left you.".
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Maybe MJ needs an arrangement like former porn-queen "Nina Hartley", who has both a husband, and a wife. Best of both worlds?
Hello. I'm not bi-sexual, although I did once have sex with a woman and some of you guys would probably like to have a DVD of that event in my life history because we were both in our early 20s, blond, and in possession of tanned D cup bodies that looked good in bikinis.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Maybe MJ needs an arrangement like former porn-queen "Nina Hartley", who has both a husband, and a wife. Best of both worlds?
Hello. I'm not bi-sexual, although I did once have sex with a woman and some of you guys would probably like to have a DVD of that event in my life history because we were both in our early 20s, blond, and in possession of tanned D cup bodies that looked good in bikinis.
Is there a copy?
Originally Posted By: MJontheMend
I could probably take care of the "just sex" and physical affection needs of about 2.5 men.
Couldn't resist...and probably going straight to hell for this but....
I guess I was thinking more about the "permanent 3-some" part, rather than the particular genders or ratios thereto.
...some of you guys would probably like to have a DVD of that event in my life history because we were both in our early 20s, blond, and in possession of tanned D cup bodies that looked good in bikinis.
yes please.
you didn't answer my question, though. What "test"?
MJ, I'm finding it fascinating that you're going through this complicated reasoning process BEFORE you do what you want to do. Why isn't wanting to do it reason enough? (And yes, I'm serious with that question.) GET THIS: I'm not saying you shouldn't be going through this reasoning process, I'm just wondering why you are.
The R I shared with the man whom I refer to as my best lover, B, went on off and on for ~22 years. We had fabulous chemistry... it was like being with the perfect dance partner. Not that we necessarily swung from the chandeliers, but the sex was great. And the last time that we were together, we did stuff we had never done before. He was married to a good friend from high school who turned out to be lesbian, so she actually encouraged my R with him. Nothing was secret, but it was very discreet.
Okay.
These things go astray when one person starts to want more from the R than the other person. With me and B, we were (thankfully) always on the same page. We loved each other but were NEVER "in love." I used to wish we were. It would have made things so simple. We could have been together, his W could have found a female partner (as she did from time to time, and has done permanently since his death), and it would have been great.
There were times when he and I were ML that I really wanted to scream out "ILY," and wished it had been appropriate. When I met and married my H, it was because I wanted the whole Megillah in one R. Alas, NO ONE has ever been as good a sexual partner as B.
Anyway, all of that is to say I think what you propose is possible.... BUT your tendency to overthink and overanalyze might be your undoing. I think you have to have 1) either a deep and abiding FRIENDSHIP with a FB, or 2) be able to be totally casual and see the multiple partner thing just like being at a dance where you have several partners in an evening, and everyone understands that a dance is just a dance.
I think that your overanalysis is a combination of the 7's need to plan, and the 5's (your direction of health, but in this case not so healthy) need to seek ever more and more information in order to feel secure about a decision.
Couldn't resist...and probably going straight to hell for this but....
Yes. You are going straight to h*ll. - lol. Of course, my math was based on the assumption that most men want sex about 2 or 3x a week and I could have it every day. The physical affection equation was based on the fact that I rarely get "touched out". On the rare occasion I felt that way when my kids were little, it was usually because they were kind of sticky and whiny so I would just give them a bath and then I was good to cuddle again.
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you didn't answer my question, though. What "test"?
It's just one of the silly tests at OkayCupid. You can take it without registering if you are curious.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Yes. You are going straight to h*ll. - lol. Of course, my math was based on the assumption that most men want sex about 2 or 3x a week and I could have it every day.
Damn, so this type of woman does exist! Here all these years of chasing what I assumed was a mythological creature has finally been validated....Mermaids and Unicorns do exist!
MJ, I'm finding it fascinating that you're going through this complicated reasoning process BEFORE you do what you want to do. Why isn't wanting to do it reason enough? (And yes, I'm serious with that question.) GET THIS: I'm not saying you shouldn't be going through this reasoning process, I'm just wondering why you are.
1) I'm sick and I have nothing better to do. 2) I am currently in a monogamous relationship and although my partner's recent behavior has been shady, I'm not about to just go out and get some more lovers without honestly addressing the issues of shadiness and monogamy with him. 3) I got the idea because due to my annoyance with above-mentioned shady behavior, I was checking out the available men in my area on the internet and 3 of the most interesting were avowed polyamorists. So, I did some research and now I'm just babbling to you guys about it. 4)I always gather tons of information before I do anything. For instance, I won't move forward with this concept until I order and read "The Ethical Slut" and probably a couple other books on the topic and view "She's Gotta Have It" again.
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Anyway, all of that is to say I think what you propose is possible.... BUT your tendency to overthink and overanalyze might be your undoing. I think you have to have 1) either a deep and abiding FRIENDSHIP with a FB, or 2) be able to be totally casual and see the multiple partner thing just like being at a dance where you have several partners in an evening, and everyone understands that a dance is just a dance.
I mostly agree with you but I think that it is also possible to be temporarily "in love" with one of your polyamourous partners if you both understand/accept the fact that feeling "in love" is a fleeting chemically induced emotion. I think most women have had the experience of being with a man who was really only a casual partner but blurted out something like "I love you" at some point in an encounter or relationship. I think that you did feel "in love" with your lover when you wanted to say that but you didn't say it because you didn't want to communicate something along the lines of a commitment to feel that way tomorrow or a desire that he reciprocate that emotion. Once again, it depends on where you draw the line between infatuation and being "in love" and being "in love" and choosing "to love". I have no doubt that the three lovers I've had since my separation were at least briefly sexually infatuated or "in love" with me. I've had purely casual f*ckbuddies before and I know the difference. You got your testosterone and you also got your dopamine and you also got your oxytocin/prolactin and sometimes you got all of them together or in quick succession anyways. The thing is if you can say to yourself "I am high on my new sex partner." then you can also take steps to control your buzz. So, maybe you can be a little bit "in love" rather than madly "in love". The same way you can have a couple drinks rather than allow yourself to get stumbling drunk. However, I should note that I have no intention of never letting myself fall madly in love again. I'm not that self-protective. I'll probably let myself get stumbling drunk again someday too. In the meantime, I don't intend to be a sex and/or affection teetotaller.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Damn, so this type of woman does exist! Here all these years of chasing what I assumed was a mythological creature has finally been validated....Mermaids and Unicorns do exist!
Well, I believe that there are quite a few men who can have sex every day but not so many who can have sex every day with the same woman over an extended period of time. However, I do believe that they exist. My sister has encountered a couple. Of course, my ability to have sex every day myself over a long time period is rather theoretical and based in part on extrapolation and assuming that my sister and I are rather similar in our drives. However, I do know that I can have sex 3x in an 8 hour period and then want it again within 48 hours so, actually, I would say that I would probably prefer to have sex 7x a week rather than once a day. So, for instance, I could meet Polyamour #1 (a busy work-a-holic with little time for relationships but a lot of testosterone)for a 3x f*ckfest on Friday night and then have my regular brunch thing with Polyamour #2 (relatively LD to me but in a relationship with a woman who discovered she was gay after they had kids together) on Sunday and that would leave Tuesday and Thursday evening free to spend with Polyamour #3 (normal drive and cuddly but burnt by two bad marriages).
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Damn, so this type of woman does exist! Here all these years of chasing what I assumed was a mythological creature has finally been validated....Mermaids and Unicorns do exist!
[quote=MJontheMend]Well, I believe that there are quite a few men who can have sex every day but not so many who can have sex every day with the same woman over an extended period of time. However, I do believe that they exist.
Well, we do exist...I know that I would have no problem with 7x if such a situation existed with Miss IC but at the same time, I'm perfectly content with the 2-3x with the connection that we've got going on now.
Originally Posted By: MJontheMend
However, I do know that I can have sex 3x in an 8 hour period and then want it again within 48 hours.
OK, difference in math between us...multiple times within an 8 hour period count as 1x for me...kind of like a continuation of the initial encounter. Unless it spills over midnight...then I would have to re-think my math...did I do it 1x with continuation, or did we have sex twice in 2 days? Hmmm, I guess I have too much time on my hands if I'm trying to put this into theory form
Originally Posted By: MJontheMend
so, actually, I would say that I would probably prefer to have sex 7x a week rather than once a day. So, for instance, I could meet Polyamour #1 (a busy work-a-holic with little time for relationships but a lot of testosterone)for a 3x f*ckfest on Friday night and then have my regular brunch thing with Polyamour #2 (relatively LD to me but in a relationship with a woman who discovered she was gay after they had kids together) on Sunday and that would leave Tuesday and Thursday evening free to spend with Polyamour #3 (normal drive and cuddly but burnt by two bad marriages).
{IC counting out on his fingers..3x with #1, 1x with #2, & 2x with #3..yup! equals 6} Hey !! You said 7x and I come up with 6x..does this mean #7 is with that tan, size D in the hot bikini
