Careful when she talks about OM, she is trying to get a response from you that justifies her behavior. Right now she feels guilty about it, but if she can find justification it helps. So if your a big jerk about she can say, "Well I knew it, I'm doing the right thing." So just let it crash and burn itself.
I hear you about the gym thing. I road bike a lot and it takes a lot of time. I signed up for a huge race this summer and had to keep a pretty strict training schedule and W did not like that at all. Haven't been riding for a long time and it is showing, I think I need to start hitting the gym and some bike again. Plus I'm smoking again, can't beleive I started that up again.
You know have you read His Needs Her Needs? The author talks about men needing a recreational campanion. Not sure, but if you got to the point that W wanted to spend time, would she like going to the gym with you? If she was there with you a couple of times a week, she may be less upset over you coming home later to work out.
