I have a specific question here - friends, please read this and tell me what you think.
Saw W yday as part of kid-swapping. She dropped them off at the place I am staying (Friend's house). I was showered, shaved, hair fixed, looking good, smelling good, smiling. I felt and expressed heartfelt affection upon greeting the kids.
She shared what she'd be doing in the afternoon - attending an art opening - it sounded like a fun activity. I told her I hoped she'd have fun. Off she went.
Had a great time with the kids. Went out to dinner. We joked around as usual. I love spending time with them. Need an apartment or house of my own so I can do it more often.
At the end of the evening, I dropped my kids off at the house. Met her at the door - this is a new thing for me since she barred me from the premises. W left to go get some papers - her compiled list of family assets that we will be splitting in the D. While she was away from the door, S10 invited me into the house; I told him no, I cannot do that.
Here is where I really need some advice and guidance.
W returned, said, "You can come in..." I said, "no, that's ok" and stayed on the front stoop (smiling). She handed me the papers. I had to reach for them, we were so far away from each other.
I thanked her and turned to leave. Still smiling and cheerful. I asked her how the art opening went. It was fun. Good!, I said. This was a shorter exchange than I hoped it would be, but it was still positive. I left.
So what do you think? I really want to be invited back into the house, but not like this. Not as a matter of habit or reflex - there is someone on your front stoop so you invite them in.
I want the invitation to be mindful and thoughtful and meaningful. Not with an explicit apology (for barring me from the house in the first place, for escalating to D proceedings, etc). But at least with some sign that she has had a slight change of mind.
Am I asking too much? expecting too much? is the invitation alone, the sign I am looking for? If in the future, she invites me in again in this way, should I go in?
At this point, just writing this, I am leaning toward - I should go in next time. I don't think I made a mistake last night. Declining the invitation was the right thing at that time. If she invites me in a 2nd time, I'll accept. I'm trying to be patient, to not rush things. What do you think?
Anyway, one more positive day for me!
I'm interested in hearing your opinions on the <<go in or stay out??>> question.
This thread is going to lock soon. My next posts will be in ... Separated, what now?
Peace to all!
M 43 S14 S13 D11 D7 Divorce final: Jan 2009 Making it up as I go....
