What I mean by "work" is that all persons in the "R" are generally pleased, feel cared for, feel that they have adequate time, sex etc... with the other(s). This is where these R's fail - someone always ends up "odd person out". Most people don't cope with that well.
Well, obviously every person on this BB feels like they are the one not being adequately cared for in their committed monogamous relationship and it's quite hard to feel cared for if you don't make any sort of commitment to be intimate or spend time in a relationship at all and just keep things completely casual. Burgbud suggested that I might want a MWC relationship and I think it might be more likely that I want a CWM relationship. I hate the dishonesty inherent in the sort of disavowals of intimacy that occur with break-ups due to inability to maintain monogamy or shared living arrangements. I absolutely do not want to be in a monogamous sexual relationship or even live in the same household with my 2bx again but I absolutely will not feel like a whole honest person if I don't at some point honor what was good about our relationship at least to the extent that I can, for instance, give him a warm hug when we become co-grandparents someday.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
