I think the kayak is a good thing. I would buy her a present that is somewhat in line with previous years gifts - if the pendant is on par with past years, or a little less, then fine; if it's more extravagant than you would ordinarily buy, then you might rethink it.
Have you read The Five Love Languages by Chapman? I think that might be useful in your sitch. He talks about how we all express love in different "languages", and often can't "hear" our spouses if they're not "speaking" our "language".
For example:
Quote:
So I turned 50 3 days ago and she gave me an expensive, antique replica kayak – for two people – but there was no card with any tenderness, no embrace, no physical acknowledgement going with that.
Here, she was speaking to you in the "language" of gifts, with maybe even a little "acts of service", since finding that present surely involved some research etc. BUT- it didn't really mean "love" to you, because it wasn't accompanied by YOUR love languages of words of affirmation and physical touch. So you probably didn't react quite as joyously as she expected, and now she probably feels a bit rejected.
