I agree with both sides of this thread. I think like all of us, we go between "marriage is best" to "I can't do this anymore, how long are we expected to do this?". I know when you say you are done, you are doing this to protect yourself, your heart, and your emotions. We have to build some sort of wall between us and the hurt. Detaching and moving on, instead of staying and being hurt daily. This is hard to do without (at least at some point, on and off) losing our focus, the intact healthy marriage. Unfortunately our spouses give us no indication that this will happen, in fact, have acted just the opposite.
I see your purpose of not filing, but have you said to her, as a LRT, "Let's make appts for an attorney" or "Make a list of what you want from this divorce". You don't have to file, but you can show her that you will move forward, won't stand still being disrespected on a daily basis.
I never realized how important respect is either, until now. In the past I disrespected H without even realizing it. Like saffie said in my thread, I did things for him I thought was supporting (clean clothes, dinner made...), but he wanted something different and I refused to listen. Now its my turn to receive the disrespect, and it hurts.
You think she has seen an attorney, right? Does she know if you have or haven't?
