Oh, girl, I know right where you're at as far as flying off the handle w/ the kids! Especially when your H is out of town and you're left to be single mom, it is not easy. I don't know what I would be doing if my parents weren't around. This year would have been heck !!!!
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
just checking in with support and some chips & salsa to share on your curb, friend.
i think we sometimes take the frustration and p*ssed-off-ness we can't completely unleash on our H's and it squeezes out on the kids. even when we know it.
i too, follow, with lots of hugs & kisses. my D8 especially, b/c i know i struggle with dark jealousy about her getting affection from my H when i do not. black soul stuff - working on a blog post about it, but it's one of the difficult ones to compose and not sound like i should be locked up!
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Is 43:18-19
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3
I think we all can join in on the chorus on that one. Some day when we are all sitting back at the re-runs of our lives I kind of picture it like a mix between Dr. Phil/Punked/America's funniest home videos. Hopefully I won't come across as that Bill White(?) the comedian that in Blue Collar Comedy Tour.
I try not to be the Incredible Hulk or Sam Kinneson, but I'm definitely starting to feel a lot like "Al Bundy" (married with children). I think Aud, as long as you are sincere, considerate and patient, the kids will put up with your tirades. They probably figure it's a part of you being human.
"no wonder animals eat their young" Rossane Hey honey, it's part of the territory, 4 days ago the 9 & 4yr old munskins almost pushed me to tears, it is frustrating, I know it hon, but you know? I too also realize I'm flying off the handle (but do it anyways) PERHAPS the next time, the next step will be to act on that thought :"Calm down...calm down" We all have our weeks hon)))))))))
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
MMMmmm...chips and salsa, my favorite! Really, thanks for dropping by BI.
I think you're right that our frustrations tend to leak out on the kids. It's so not fair to them. My sweet, emotional D6 gets so frustrated and angry sometimes over the smallest things and it literally sends me over the edge. I know she has no idea that some days Mommy just cannot handle one more trauma...but man, can she push my buttons. I am working on it, and I think I've been better the last day or two.
I get where you're coming from on the black soul stuff...((hugs)), you can get through this.
Thanks Cat. It really helps to know I'm not the only one who gets this way. For sure, the next time I'll remember to take the next step and calm down before I go nuclear.
I was so relieved to read this section of your thread b/c I have been feeling guilty about some of my own negativity in the area of the kids. I think that we dedicate so much time, energy, and emotion to piecing that there often seems like very little left over for other things. Also, for me, I feel that I sometimes fly off the handle because my H has difficulty with chaos in the home, so when the kids are creating it, I often feel as if they are actively working against me (I know this is irrational, and I only think it for a minute, but...)
I was so relieved to read this section of your thread b/c I have been feeling guilty about some of my own negativity in the area of the kids. I think that we dedicate so much time, energy, and emotion to piecing that there often seems like very little left over for other things. Also, for me, I feel that I sometimes fly off the handle because my H has difficulty with chaos in the home, so when the kids are creating it, I often feel as if they are actively working against me (I know this is irrational, and I only think it for a minute, but...)
