I hate to tell you this, but this is how it is. You have to let her relationship with the OM take it's course. But TRUST me it will! Don't ask, don't inquire, nothing. But she has to be the one to throw it out and come to you or it won't work. My W left 6 months ago and from being on the boards that long, I think my time waiting is short compared to most. Don't file, let her do it if she wants it. It doesn't hurt you, and if you have to the D would take some time and that is on your side. I know it is hard to see it that way now.
OK, so W is off the deep end, she is having an affair. What are you goals, what are you doing for you and the kids. When you make goals don't focus on her. How destraught are you? Are you eating? Sleeping? Paying the bills? Let me know, because I have been there and can help.
But realize this will take a lot of time and you need to relax quickly and let it run it's course. However, I do have to say you sound like you have good self control and that is why I have taken an interest, I think you can bust this thing. Keep up the good work and make sure you exercise, you mentioned police or something, so are you at the gym lifting? Keep the PMA going, stop all bad thoughts. Also, is there someone you can confide in that doesn't think you are off your rocker for trying to save it, find that person and confide. Now realize lines will be crossed by that person and the person you confide may change. I has happened to me a couple of times. But you have to bitch and moan to someone, so find that person.
