not a peep

[Trixi]

I agree with one exception-not going to do the lawyer thing.
He and I have already done some broad brush strokes regarding the finances. I *could* get more, I don't want more. As he said (in the conversation today) if we start dragging lawyers into it, then hate and bitterness will start being brought into the relationship, and he doesn't want that. Nor do I. I am capable to making my own way in this world- I don't need to be greedy and I most certainly do NOT need a bunch more negative crap in my life.

I totally 'get' the idea of playing hardball, but if he "came back" only because his wallet was getting hit, would I want him? no. I wanted him to come back because he loved me. If I get half, I'm cool. No need to spend money on an attorney.

I told him about the conversation I had with gal who got 2/3rd of the equity and 2 years spousal support. I said that I thought the law would side with me on that, BUT I really don't want more than half of the equity. We agreed to a minimum of 1 year support max 2 years, with a review of my financial sitch at the end of one year. Reason being, if I am doing well with my business and can support myself, then he shouldn't have to pay. And, I see his point. I would probably have volunteered it anyway. If I am doing well without his help, then I would rather cut that tie with him.
From his side, he understands that I might need the help and I should be able to have enough money to do "fun things" that I want to do.

I am getting the mattress (just purchased in August), bedroom set (same purchase), TV and entertainment center that he has in his apartment. So, first part of Jan we'll be doing the furniture exchange. We can hash out the financials, close out the joint accounts and once all of that is done, I guess I won't be talking to him anymore. Sadly, I don't think it will matter to him.

Oh crud. We will probably have to talk in Feb to do taxes. (I have two businesses. Discussed today- we are going to file jointly since it's in my best interest.)

But, yes, ultimately, I will be going pitch black. In WA, it is only a 90 day waiting period, so if we agree to everything by mid Jan and he gets it filed (it's only $200 -Whoopeeeeeee! <rolls eyes>) then we could be legally divorced as early as April 15th. Isn't that fan'frigging'tastic??????

Near the end of the convo (since we were having a such a friendly time) I said "You know, I do NOT want a divorce, and if you think we will be sitting around being chummy like this afterwards, you are sorely mistaken." He just said "ok."

I think he is hoping we'll be one of "those" couples. You know, "those" x-couples who go out to dinner and catch up, "those" x-couples who are best friends, go on double dates, make friends with the X's new signifigant other. Give relationship advice... Yeah, I think that is what he wants. Wouldn't that just be FAB' for him?? HA!