Oh Mopsey, I really feel for you. All of this is so, so familiar to me. But you have the right idea when you say even though he wants someone to fix this for him, it won't be you. Your H is definitely depressed. He is not faking, and yet he doesn't know what he wants. My H did these same things. And the being tired...I remember this. I used to work very close to my home and would go home on my lunch breaks. Oftentimes, I would come home to find H's car in the driveway and him asleep in the family room, curtains drawn shut, with the tv on, midday. He was just so exhausted and apparently had no where else to go. It would confuse me, as it does you, because he "said" he didn't want to be with me, he was miserable, he wanted out, etc. Yet, there he would be asleep on the sofa at noon. I think you are doing all the right things here. There isn't much else you can do, mopsey. You just go right along with the Christmas plans, making cookies and letting him know if he needs to stop by or call you, he can do that. I imagine he will if he's feeling badly. I'm so sorry for how it confuses you and disrupts your life, because I know exactly how that is. I lived that way for a year. You are right in that you cannot speculate what happens next. I know I couldn't. Again, you sound very much together and I think that draws him to you. So, just keep on posting here, sharing, and staying strong at home. You're doing great.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
