Personally, given what I'm hearing from my W I have to assume that WAWs just aren't thinking straight. They say things that have no basis in fact. They often say things in an effort to make themselves feel better.
I'm also found that my W wants me to get angry at her. I think she wants validation that she's better off without me. I've really confused her by being positive and not getting mad at her.
confused her by being positive and not getting mad at her
because now she thinks I am acting nuts.
I also would like to know...What gives with trying to meet someone through an online dating site? Is this more of the same "say and do things trying to make themselves feel better"? I mean she is scared, lonely, really down after our restraunt meeting, reaching out to friends she alienated when they did not agree with her, etc... Could this be just more of the her being confused out of her mind right now?
Dating service seems odd in a way. Could just go out to local establishment. No OM yet but who knows. She has had every other 4 days without 5D to do whatever. It's like she is willing to pay any amount of money to feel better.
No idea on the dating service. Maybe she's trying to see what's out there.
Remember, WAW don't have to be rational, normal or sane. They are running a playbook known only to them. Someone on this board told me to ignore 95% of what they say and 50% of what they do. I'd put this in those categories.
Yeah that's what I am going to do. No other thing I can do really. Either she will or won't try again one day. Cannot control anything but myself. Makes me wonder if I should start posting on MLC board...lol.
I still think darkness is best for me and her. I will not have 5D for next several weekends. So, maybe if I show her I am moving on, by getting stuff, etc... and with our "special days" coming up, it'll jolt.
I have not contacted our mutual friend that she reached out to since before thanksgiving. WAW, so to speak, wants her friend back. I've been debating all day to call this mutual friend and basically say I am ok, getting my life in order, and for my WAW sake I will not be calling anymore, maybe even say something that shows my detachment or simply done. Basically, cut ties with a friend of mine. She asked the friend to be there for me but I think now I need to cut the rope. If for no other reason, wife needs her more. Or is it best just to stay dark to this friend, since it has been 3 weeks since last contact, and leave it at that?
i think staying dark is the right thing,,, if the mutual friend is there for you then your W my see that you are not moving on and that your changes are not real i have cut off mutual frineds that talk to both of us, if they call me i talk to them say im doing fine and the kids are fine i dont ask about the W this may get bak to W or not but if it does then my W will see im not the pursuer anymore i have backed off and standing strong alone...
Me 35 W 26 S 3 D 10 months I have custody Bomb 11/9/07 W PA 10/07 ended 2/08 Removed W from house 11/16/07 I filed in Nov. D put on hold http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1268484&page=6&fpart=16
Kind of what I am thinking...hard not to say anything. Three weeks without contacting this friend might show something. Regardless, WAW needs her more...
This online meeting people thing really got me messed up today. Really made me want to fight for custody and make put in perspective what I want in life such as better job, more time with 5D, etc...
Funny how we fight for the WA but the person we miss is not there. Their spirit is off in another world. Maybe their spirit will drift back...right now, as sick as she says I am, she needs help more than I. Nothing to do but heal myself. I know I am doing what I need to do for my future life.
I also think a humongous part of my problem is that my WAW is the only person I have ever been intimate. Saving yourself for the one that cannot even tell you why she wants to leave is a bit difficult to say the least.
When I pick-up 5D today for church, I am strongly considering taking my wedding ring off. It's a symbol of her never-ending, blah blah...love for me...which she does not have now.
Upon further review, taking my ring off sends the wrong message of not wanting marriage to survive. I'll show her moving on by telling her I will be getting my belongings soon and not give the date until later in week.
