Really I got my W a "ROOMBA" it's a robot vacum cleaner. Got tired of buying her jewlery that she does not wear. and sexy panties are out of the question. (except my man pamties )
H
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Got home today, and had a blow-out with my wife. It was ugly. Not good at all.
While I was out, she went out to look at dogs. Again. This time, she had all the kids with her, and she had them convinced that we are getting another dog. They have picked-out and named this dog. I lost it. I probably over-reacted, very much contrary to DBing. A lot of the over-reaction was driven by the fact that I am currently reading LMBT. For those who don’t know, the James Dobson book Love Must Be Tough is couched in the premise that DBing is a colossal waste, and a LBS must stand up for themselves, especially in the presence of adultery. Dr. Dobson would have been proud of me tonight.
And I am not making this up: All the while we were talking/arguing, I had this song echoing in my head: "I believe it’s time for me to fly..."
In a quieter moment, I explained that, as I saw it, her "dog hunting" was incredibly disrespectful of me. She really should have discussed it with me in advance. Her reply was that I had done something similar in the past (back in February). You know the drill: "So because I did it, and it bothered you, it was OK for you to do it as well?" And I also pointed out that, actually, it was quite consistent with her recent behavior (adultery). This was the crux of my reaction. Disrespect. Dr Dobson made me do it...
She did end up apologizing. For whatever that's worth (not much). And the kids heard most of it. I know they heard the part about her boyfriend.
In the course of the argument, she said that her boyfriend’s wife sent her an email stating that she has had sex with me. I denied it (the truth). She probably believed me, because, later on, she said something like, "I really wish you would have had sex with somebody else..." Or words to that effect. She thinks I am clinging to her. She sees me as pursuing. Not sure why... She said a couple of times, "Just let me go." Um...I have....
Regardless, I believe that this is it for us. I am furious, and I am done with her. She has, at best, no regard, and at worst, absolute contempt for me. And I am tired of it. She was intentionally using the kids to manipulate the situation.
In a related note, she admitted something to me that was revealing. Not sure if it was good or bad. I asked her why she needs another dog. She said she wants an animal that she can love and hold and is happy to see her. She wants absolute unconditional love from this dog. This, IMO, is symptomatic of her needs, and absolutely consistent with her behavior. She wants unconditional love. And since the unconditional love from her boyfriend is gone, she is now seeking it from a puppy. And this is somebody that I don’t want to be with. I mean, she did it with me. She "traded me in" for her boyfriend. This is not the person I want to be with. Not for a day, a month… a lifetime. But she gets points for consistency. It could be worse...
Also...(this is kinda funny), she said, "If I really wanted the dog, it would be here." My reply, "So you are saying that if you really, really want something, you would have done it already?" She said, "Of course. Absolutely!" It then occurred to her what she just said. And she got quiet.
I ended up leaving. I walked out, and headed to the local watering hole. The one with free wireless. And here I am, nursing the pain with carbonated medication.
Oh man, the kids heard?? I hate that, she did that on purpose, more fuel for her fire. She is ridiculous dog hunting. Ok, so say she gets what she 'wants' and files for divorce. Is she moving out with the dog? Obviously the kids will be in love with this puppy, so who will the dog live with? Mark, does she think you are moving out if a divorce occurs? You are right on with the unconditional love thing, she is seeking comfort wherever she can find it.
I am so sorry. You did make Dobson proud tonight and I think even the most avid DB'ers agree that sometimes you have to stand up for yourself and put a stop to things...or at least be heard. We know we can't stop them from anything or we wouldn't be here.
Boy I hear you on the 'traded me in' thing, I feel that daily.
Mark, I am sorry about your afternoon and sorry for your kids. And sorry that your wife doesn't see what she is throwing away........ HUGS!
Yeah, lwb, thanks. In the course of the argument, I said a number of times that I am tired of the disrespect. I think she was rather surprised. She even said, "Were you this tired a month ago?"
And yes, it will be difficult for her to find an apartment that will take one dog. Nearly impossible to find one that would take two.
Also, she knew the kids were around when she allowed the disagreement to go that way. I guess she is OK with them knowing she cheated on me. Really, it's OK with me... At least I'm standing up for myself now.
You always had a 'pair', you were just doing what you did for the kids. Apparently it is ok that they know (since she didn't hide it today). That's actually good for your behalf, no faking the 'we had differences' talk.
That's exactly what I was thinking about the dog(s), is its hard to find an apt that takes them.
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