Love, PAIN and the Whole Crazy Thing

[mcol]

Hi Flygirl and all
Great questions...W and I have been married for 8 years. I was in the military for 5 years before I met her so I had time to adjust to the culture of the service. Her indoctrination was leave your family, life and hometown to follow me first to Missouri then to Germany for three years. Thankfully, the last four years we have been in NC but we have still be over two hours away. Her family all seems to not know how to handle W and how she has changed since her dad died. It is pretty tragic actually and a lot of counseling is required.

Just to give you all a quick update. We had dinner last night and while I did not talk about R, I did talk about the kids, briefly, family and some parts of my job. However, as the evening went on it was clear that she was kind of going through the motions. She was tired from 12 hours at work with little or no activity. She has started having some physical issues which are only exasperated by everything going on in our lives.

I am so thankful to be close to her family. While I have visited I am staying with M-I-L which has been a blessing. I am trying to stay upbeat and have to continually tell myself that I should not change who I am just because my emotional pain factor peaks each time I see her. I want to run to her and hold her, telling her it will be ok but I know she will not reciprocate thus making things that much harder.

With my ultimate resignation and move when I get home this will be the hardest move yet. The safety net will be gone and everything will be new. Not sure if she will move in with me when I get my house, although, I am planning for it. Not sure what kind of financial changes will be required in order to cover all requirements. I am hoping to find a house that is relatively close to in laws in order to have a social network until I start making some friends.

AAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!! I feel like I am previewing the next year of my life and I see problems yet have no power to change the things that are jacked up. Oh well, new wardrobe, some new smell goods and a new social network may provide the needed increase and change that I will need to continue moving forward through this thing.