What a good year this has been.....

[forever21]

Here's a link to me in Surviving the Big D..... What's good?

I signed all the paperwork for my L to file for D yesterday. On Monday they will be trying to serve my H with the papers most likely. My heart gets heavy and tears well a little in my eyes each time I think about this. Big sigh. I have really taken my time to get to this point but still part of me starts to *feel* like I'm giving up now. I know that isn't the case, but it's hard to believe I am divorcing him. I have a lot of love in my heart for my H. What we were doing just wasn't working.

Yesterday afternoon (after my appt. with L) H called me 5 times, left a couple voicemails, and sent a text message saying he really needed me to call him. He said he knows we can work something out, whatever that means. Well, the pushiness just rubs me the wrong way. He just can't seem to learn how to respectfully ask for things, and then to back off. He acted so desperate that it made me wonder just what was the deal with him. I had already decided I would call him today after a good night's sleep, because yesterday I was running on only a couple hours. I had even already texted him to tell him I got his message the day before and thanked him for his apology. I'd told him it had taken a lot out of me but that I would call him when I could. He just likes everything to be on his timeframe. Too bad.

So, I will call him today. Need to prepare myself. I will be telling him that I have filed and that he will be served. He doesn't need to be surprised by it. It's going to be a tough convo for me. I need to be prepared for anything.