but I have been brought up with a father who was incredibly clever and would use his aptitude with words to cut one down and belittle and hurt.
saffie, I do understand the effects of words. My mother used to compare me to others making me feel like 2 cents. And it wasn't one bit clever the way she did it. It did serve to make me a better father. Of one thing I am sure, I will never compare my children to others. And when it comes time for them to make decisions about their calling in life, they are free to make their own - good or bad. I will never try to live through them.
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To be completely honest, sometimes I think you detract from the wonderful messages you put out in your posts with the way that they are written.
saffie, in the case which caused this little exchange, I knew exactly what message I was delivering, to whom, and why.