FLTC, I don't think we will ever be able to answer that completely. Not sure the WAW/WAH's even know what they want.
Can I be Pollyanna for a minute? What can we do for ourselves NOW????? I just found a book that mentions "divorce as a catalyst for an extraordinary life". One interesting exercise suggested to make a list of 20 favorable things that have come out of your separation. They can be superficial or significant. Example given: I can be myself without trying to please someone else. I don't have to share a bathroom. I have more time for reading and self reflection.
To me writing down things that are good about the separation doesn't mean we want to be separated/divorced. It's just trying to get to a better place mentally. We can say we are detached, but it's obvious we are still affected by our spouses.
