Hi again ~ long time no see.

[MJontheMend]

I think your bunny is doing well but your lioness needs some help. What I mean by that is that it is good for you to ask for what makes you feel more secure and emotionally connected during sex (the bunny is the animal who wants to be made love to) but it's pretty obvious that you are turned off when your H acts like a monkey (silly, horny child) but you are keeping him in that role by signaling "If you behave (help with the babies and say polite things) then cranky Mommy lioness will reward you with a treat (sex)". My suggestion would be that you give yourself permission to act more like a monkey yourself and thereby nudge your H out of the role. Practice doing some things that are mildly immature, irresponsible, crazy, fun, wild etc. Let go of some of your maternal guilt and, for instance, instead of signing you and the kids up for a Mommy and Me class, sign them up for an hour of daycare while you take a hip-hop dance class (for which you have bought yourself a cute new outfit rather than another educational toy for the kids when you know they'd be just as happy with a $1 box of crayons and a wall). It will do your kids and your marriage a world of good if you start them now with a strict 8:00 bedtime. I am definitely an "err on the side of leniency" type parent but this was one of the few brilliant moves I ever made (I don't want to brag or anything but my D16 told me yesterday that "I raised her to be playful" so I'm feeling like a great Mom at the moment). So, now it's 8:00 the kids are in bed, you are energized from your fun hip-hop class, you can relax and maybe have a drink or two, then all you need to do to slip into full monkey mode is play with somebody's clothing in an unladylike manner(yours or your H's) and use the word "c*ck" in a sentence (any sentence).


NOTE: Scrap-booking is not monkey-fun. It is definitely a joint cow/bunny activity. Kind of a cross between canning vegetables and playing with paper dolls. Nobody ever became sexually aroused while scrap-booking (Though, now that I think about it, it would be a great money making idea to sell erotic scrap-booking materials if one were a HD book-dealer with a feel for the Midwest Mom market). I remember reading in some book that a very sexually affirming thing to do would be to take a picture of yourself and your partner in the afterglow of great sex and keep a framed copy on display in your bedroom.