Hello Helpless In FL...Sorry that you find yourself here with us, but know that you have found a good place to begin making you & hopefully your marriage better.
Firstly, Good job with knowing what you contributed towards your sitchuation it's half the battle won when you can see your own faults. However, although it's very natural to dwell on the past events & things that you believe to have contributed towards your sitchuation, you have to try to get past that because thats exactly what it is, it's past & in the past. You can't change the past so don't waste too much your time & energy thinking about it. Put all that thought into making "now" your main priority so that events of the past don't resurface.
Originally Posted By: Helpless In FL
I cried in her mother's arms. In fact it is up to most recently that I have stopped crying.
This is not something to be ashamed of in anyway, I did the exact same thing my friend. Try to let that go though because you don't want to have your wife see you in an upset state for too long.
Originally Posted By: Helpless In FL
Some things she did leave behind that really hurts are all of the wedding photos, wedding album, and wedding videos. She even made it a point to place the wedding photos in our bedroom to where I would constantly be reminded of our relationship together
They all do this, it's hard but at the moment she's wanting out & any reminder of what she's leaving will make it harder for her. I don't think there are any WAS that have taken the book of good times with them so don't feel bad that your wife left them in safe hands, with you. There are many WAS that when going through the things they want & don't want, the wedding photo's end up on the trash pile!!. So the fact that she placed the photo's in your bedroom & left them with you, is at least a acknowledgement of their importance to you & somewhere deep down, to her also.
Originally Posted By: Helpless In FL
She did take the dog but could not find a suitable place for the cats. I felt so terrible about all the fuss I made about the cats in the past told her that they were fine here.
This is a good move with the cats & they deserve a good home, non of this is their fault. I'ts also a great chance to show your wife a change in yourself by looking after them & keeping them in a loving home. It's also a very good line of communication between yourself & your wife. At some point she'll probably want to see them & theres a chance for you to have important face to face contact without any relationship talks or pressure.
Originally Posted By: Helpless In FL
I was reading The Divorce Remedy and was surprised when she walked in. I stuffed in under a pillow and am certain she looked at it while I fooled with her car
Don't worry too much if she saw the book. However I would not make that an habbit, you don't want to give your game plan away too much. Mainly whats in the book is for you & having your wife have more than a glance at it may lessen you chances of getting through.
My reply is cut a little short here, i'm sorry...But here's the basics & so very important....
Smile, even if it's at yourself in the mirror...Try to be happy & find things that will make you happy. When you have any contact with your wife make sure you are always carm, polite & happy...Smile smile smile...You do not want her to see you with a sad look.
Do not bring up any relationship talks with your wife yourself...If she wants to talk then listen listen listen...Validate what she says & then listen some more.
Keep posting here & read as much as possible, others threads & the succsess stories too...Post on others threads even if you don't think you have any help to give, you'll be suprised at your own knowlage & insight when you step out of your own sitchuation.
