I really questioned writing this but I have to, she is the mother of those children. Treat her as such, even if you move on. I know you will.
No question, brotha -- she will be the only one to make this new business like R a difficult one. I'll always do what I can from my end without jeopardizing myself and my happiness, but I can't control her choices.
ewe,
Emotions have been what I expected -- pretty much all over the place, but I'm doing pretty good now as things have begun to settle in. Thanks for stopping in and keeping tabs on me (you so rock!).
Heim,
Quote:
Never say never.
Okay, then what is the closest thing to never, and I'll say that
Thanks again for your kind words, Heim -- they mean a lot.
L,
Thanks for stopping by -- jazz hands are currently out of control!!!!!!!!
And now for the post we've all been waiting for -- drumroll, please........
D is now official. "X"W signed off on the settlement offer (though I know she wanted more), and the judge agreed to grant her her name change back to her maiden name. The name change was probably the hardest for me -- probably because I expected her to do it sometime down the road and not right then and there. I can't really explain/describe it, but man did it hurt (though I didn't show it at all). And, on a side note -- DAMN she looked good!
Now for the really weird part of all of this.
During our settlement discussion in the conference room, I brought up to XW that S5 was performing in the play at the school Xmas party tonight, and asked if she planned on attending. She pleasantly said yes, and then asked if I would like her to pick up the kids to take them (since I can't drive). I told her that that would be great. I then said that since I was going too (riding my bike -- it's not very far, thank god!), she would have to wait for me to get back to the house on my bike before she could drop them back off. She kind of paused for a second, and then said that she could take me too. I asked her if she was sure, and said that riding my bike wasn't a problem. She said that yes, it was okay, and we then made plans for when she would come by. This is the first time I've ridden in the same vehicle as her in over a year, and it just happens to be on the day of our divorce. Weird!
The party went good -- S5 had fun and did great (he was a reindeer). XW and I actually do a pretty good job parenting the kids together (this D's a dirty shame, I tell ya!), and tonight was no exception. I took some pics of the kids with Santa, and told XW I would get her some copies once I developed them. Not much talking between us, but I expected as much. I no longer look for reasons to talk with her, things to talk about, etc. I just love the kids and do my thing. No use wasting energy on anything else. The hard-earned changes come pretty natural now so at least THAT isn't work anymore.
BTW, anyone wondering where her BF was tonight? She didn't bring him to D4's b-day party last month either. Hmmmmm......
After the party she took us back home and hugged/kissed the kids goodnight. I thanked her for taking me, she said your welcome, and left (it seemed apparent that she didn't even want to look at me at that point).
So, weird night of being a family on our first night of actual divorce. I don't foresee anymore of those for quite some time (if ever).
So life after D goes on -- I think I'll be moving to Surviving the Big D forum pretty soon, and getting perspective and insight from that knowledgeable crowd. It has been a great pleasure getting to know and talking with you all. Thanks so much for the friendship and support! I will continue to pop in on those of you that I regularly keep tabs on, and if you want/need me you'll know where to find me. And, of course, I'll still keep the DB Ski/Board trip thread going over here! Ski hills are now open!!!
