Taking it day by day...

[Hurtin4certain]

Ugh... another wave of anxiety... when will this stop?!?!?

I keep getting visions of W and OM. THis is horrible. I wish I could just let go. When I get like this, I try to think about all the crappy things W has done.

Im still thinking that maybe she just doesnt have what it takes to make a R work. It always seemed that every time we hit a bump in the road, she was ready to bail.

My friends always told me I could so much better and deserved better but I've always been the pursuer. SHe would do something horrible (like not come at night), I would get mad and tell her she is disrespectful, she would either pack her bags or give me the silent treatment for a week, then I would apologize and pursue.

I know I need to get my self esteem up and stand up for myself. Its just hard to do.

Im remaining dark except when we exhange D, I just feel like she is slipping through my fingers.