Time for honesty & truth for a new beginning

[phbear316]

Lost, is the way i feel, low and lost. I so need to detach and let go. The pain is just too hard to handle.

As far as the tickets, I gave them to my boss who is dating a new woman. I asked if he wanted to go and he said i wish I could but i have a date, i'm going to the city to the museum of natural history. I took the tickets out of my pocket book and told him since he is going to the city, change your plans and go to the 2pm showing of phantom. At least they will have a nice date.

My tank is empty, my heart hurts, and my sole is broken. But I don't know how, or why but I still love him, and still want a marriage with him.

I did not go to the gym tonight, I went the hospital christmas party, and the first song is a song i love and would dance with H with. Sat at the table and cried. Don't regret not going to the gym thou. Will not tell h I went to party. Not telling him I am going to a dept party next week. Just going.

Jenny- I agree 10000% I hope they both are embarressed, I hope she does feel so uncomfortable it makes her crazy. I hope his friends give it to him, I hope the bride says something to him. MIL insists he will not take her, i believe otherwise.

MIL thinks I should say something to h, force him to sit and talk. I don't agree with this with this, I'm not up for it. I'm too broken and emotional to talk. I'm better with letter, should I leave a letter for him to read?

I have to get out of this house in am, and leave I don't want to be here when he is getting dressed for wedding, I am going to try to decorate front window, my way. Need to get a wreath for door too! Maybe I will get a blue decorated wreath, since that is the way I feel right now.

Jeanette and azhira, and sg, I need you guys, where have you guys been?!

I really feel like getting blind drunk right now, but besides a hangover what will that accomplish nothing, and give me one big hangover. I am also getting sick, losing my voice, and feel like crap.

bear