own business together, disabilty,OW, Standing !

[grid, lost]

Hi everyone, guess I'll try to introduce myself, although also posted on "newbies"
I'm 52, no kids, H is 49 we have been together 20 yrs, M 4yrs. (long story). Over last 6 yrs. we had way to many life altering events take place in short amount of time. Death of both my parents in few weeks, no siblings left alive, major illness and unable to work now for several years, H looses job, H and I start a business, business goes ok, except for cost of health insurance. Expenses pile up do to health problems. I retreat into my own cave, H has EA with 20yr junior associate, H developes major depressionand MLC, OW says Come I will save you. With out a word, on 10-2006 H leaves me a 4 line note and goes to OW. I promptly did everything wrong, everything! We still have to talk because of the business together, I still can not work full time, want H to return. have read and doing DR for short time, H sends me gifts and will not talk about R. I am so confused and lost, this has been going on now for over a year and I need you guys. I want H to come back and leave OW, H. wants all 3 of us to be "Best Friends". So here I sit, so confused, lost and do not know what to do,except trying to stand. that is my stich.
grid, lost