WAW staying, I'm leaving to give her space..

[jab]

Kept my expectations low.

W actually had little to talk about when I got home but what she did say was IMHO a huge step. W was trying to open up but she had to go to work and I could tell she was holding back alot. I didn't try to force the issue.

In summary...

W wants it to be like it used to be (happy M), thinks I have good intentions but still cannot trust that my changes will be genuine and doesn't know if it is possible for things to be like that again.

I validated her feelings, I said nobody can predict the future but let my actions speak for themselves and let's see what happens. Also said we need to take this one step at a time and it will not happen overnight.

W is very worried that too much damage is already done (her co-workers, family) because of what she has been telling them over the past several months.

I said, I understood. I said, maybe after some time they will start to see that I'm becoming a better person and treating you like you deserve. Maybe if you are happy again with me, they will see me in a different light. W's co-workers haven't even met me.

W expressed concern that she wanted to be a 'normal' couple. She was worried about going to bars with me and me not being able to drink but she wanted to. I said that was ok with me, I want to go out with her. W felt that it may be weird. I suggested trying it in a few months and see how it felt. This topic may be a hard one to work out. I know she wants to be able to 'let her hair loose' without feeling guilty that her H is an 'alcoholic'.

I asked her if she had any changes of plan. W didn't know what she wanted to do. I offered 'can I make a suggestion and you can think about it?'

I suggested that for the next 60 days, we continue with the S, I can work on myself and she will have more freedom for herself. She can choose to visit me if and when she wants, she can do whatever she wants with her free time. I suggested we go to MC a few times, when she was ready and willing, I thought it would be a huge step in the right direction. I suggested let's try this for 60 days and go from there. She nodded and said she agreed but IMHO W was mentally exhausted and distraught so I left it at that for now.

I got a good hug and kissed her on forhead. First one in weeks.

Well, that's the conversation in a nutshell.


One other thing I noticed. The phone bill with OM phone #'s that left on counter this morning has VANISHED! NOWHERE IN THE HOUSE! GONE!! IMHO another reason W is worried that I meet her co-workers.

She also stated she was cancelling her IUD appt. I'm leaving it at that for now, told her she didn't have to but she insisted that she didn't want me to think she was having an A.

I did my best to listen, validate and not push anything down her throat although inside I was dying to smother her with love.

Probably will be starting a new thread after S starts (this one is getting long now). I guess I have to wait and see if this change in W continues.