There are some folks here that should be able to give you some recommendations - I think there are a few here who are at the same place you are. My W and I are not there.
If you have both decided to try to get your M back on track, or on track for the first time, I think you have an advantage over many of us here. Not having gone myself, I would recommend M Counseling as a start. Individual Counseling may also be a good idea for the two of you to work out anger/attraction/trust issues.
Wish I had more to offer but I'm sure the group here will be able to add to this.
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Me: 39/W: 37 D13-D11-S8 M/T 14/20
EA confirmed: 9/13/07 D-Bomb: 9/19/07 OM Gone since 12/18/07 W wants to fix marriage: 3/16/07