Cemar, No, he didn't cooperate b/c he told me he would make a list and he didn't. It was too many years ago for me to remember all the particulars, but we were to make a "list" which means to name more than one item, that would enrich our marriage. Things we wanted from the other person or things we wished the other one would not do. On that list was to be goals, dreams, plans, a lot of different things we could discuss over the day. And he said it in one sentence. You asked me what I was looking for and why would he want that? Why would he NOT want it? Shouldn't married couples have things in the relationship they can discuss that doesn't include sex? Why are you always so defensive where he is concerned? Why do you have this attitude that you always do?
It doesn't matter. You will never see my side of it or understand. I think you see me as being a frigid, unfair wife that has withheld sex from her poor husband for years, driving him in his cave to suffer in silence. No matter what I tell you, you will always think I'm in the wrong and that my H has done nothing wrong whatsoever. No matter how many times I try to tell you how it happened and that he chose to leave my bedroom and he chose to stop having sex with me. It just doesn't matter.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
