Those are all good suggestions, thanks. I'm going to have to print them and practice.
I don't actually want to tell that he wants to leave, I just couldn't think of any other way to keep a little hope in the conversation, by letting them know that I hadn't given up. Knowing that a parent is choosing to leave would be really hard for them to hear. Definitely better if they think it's a decision we made together, although I can't really see that being easy to understand from their point of view, since we seem to be getting along really well from the outside - I'm being so darn pleasant!
I see from your signature that you are in a tough spot - I hope things get better, SP.
