For years I've been the one to initiate sex or at least ask for it. Back before all the problems i would have loved every night or something like that, but he was fine with a couple times a week. No big deal.
Omigosh, if only! a couple times a week! For me in my M, I was the one who always always always initiated or asked, and I would have loved to have this be an every night thing. A couple times a week would have been glorious!
As it was, for me, we had sex a couple times a month, sometimes once a month. For years.
I was so often denied that it became a real source of tension. We went a period of 10 months once, a little power struggle, where I decided to stop asking her, to see how long it would take her to ask me. On the surface everything else about our relationship was normal. After 10 months I couldn't take it anymore and asked her one night, "are we ever going to have sex again?"
I suggested MC but she refused, instead she got us a copy of the Kama Sutra.
And then six months later she went and had a physical affair. How does that make sense?
M 43 S14 S13 D11 D7 Divorce final: Jan 2009 Making it up as I go....
