I'm so sorry. There is simply no way to make this whole thing even remotely easy. A large part of why I am so committed to my own SSM is because I have been D. I won't do it again unless my H initiates it. Then again I don't have alcoholism or other issues like that to deal with. We have a pleasant life together in a roomate/friend kind of way.
I don't say this to dissuade you from anything. Once you are done you are done. I will caution you not to be suprised by how your H reacts or handles himself from here. As MJ found out - when she removed herself from the equation her H fell totally apart. Happened to my xH too. Seven years later he is still not together - underemployed, living with Mom and Dad, not making child support payments etc...
During the holidays it will be really important to center yourself and recognize the meaning and beauty in it instead of the hallmark version. KWIM??? Focus on gratitude for what you have, being together with loved ones, the lovely sights, sounds, fragrances etc... It will help.
