Don't know what I'm doing anymore - Help.

[Dom R]

we are at home, watching some UFC stuff and he randomly tells me he wants to see me naked. what sense does that make,

aha... actually, it does make sense. a lot of sense.
it is reassurance for him.
It's actually fairly common after affairs, for the betrayed spouse to act like this.

Right now, he is feeling very insecure in your relationship. Threatened.
That's why he asked if you were talking to someone else 3 times.

On the one hand, he wants reassurance that you arent "bonding" with anyone else emotionallyu
Additionally, he wants reassurance that you are still open and available to him physically.

Some people just straight up ask for sex all the time, for reassurance that you are still "intimately connected".
Perhaps he just felt that you being willing to "get naked for him", when he asked, was equivalent to that.
(or perhaps its becuase you have taken sex "off the table")

The more easily you stay open to him.. the more easily and happily you say, "why certainly, dear!" with a wink and shimmy your stuff for him... the faster he will recover from his hurt over your affair.

Tt's not a fast process either way. But you doing what he asks in that area, will make it a lot faster than otherwise.

he asks if i've been talking to anyone else again. I just told him that he already knows that answer to that question is no and I did not have the time or energy to have that discussion right then,

Maybe he just needs the reassurance about it, more than the discussion. If you can let go your resistance to answering it normally, it will help him.
ie: just reply straightforwardly "no, i'm not seeing anyone/talking to anyone", and leave it at that.


Maybe it could help you, if you thought of him as a scared and emotionally wounded child, who has been lost from his parents during a hiking trip. He has been on his own for days. He has felt abandoned, terrified....

When a child like that finally is reunited with his parents.. he's going to ask.. "mommy, are you going anywhere?"
"mommy, are you going to stay with me?"

and 5 minutes later, he may ask it again.

and 5 minutes later, he may ask it AGAIN.

Try to be patient with him.
Give him the reassurance he needs.
Try to understand that he really is just as hurt and scared, as that little child, and he needs the same amount of love, understanding, and reassurance from you, as that little child would need from his parents.

Keep in mind, that it is common to take a YEAR for someone to recover from being betrayed by an affair.

you're only 3 months in.