I wonder if he will ever figure it out. I truly do. And if and when he does, I feel like he will only be doing it because of the kids. After our terrible conversation the other day, I feel like he thinks he has found happiness with this woman that he never had with me. He said that if he came back what good would it do for our kids to live in dysfunction.
I know I shouldn’t believe what he says, but he truly believes it. I don’t know what the man is starting to think. If he is starting to think about all of the damage he has done, I just don’t know if he thinks that he can fix it. He said that he left to be happy…I assume with MOW….and now he says everyone (the kids, me, his family, everyone….although he doesn’t mention mow) including him is unhappy. What does that say about their R? Who knows?
Right now you are right; he needs to be out there. I just don’t know if he will ever figure this out. Sometimes I feel like he is so close and then reality strikes and he retreats.
Time to focus on the kids and the weekend. This is my last weekend before Christmas that the neither kid has a swim meet. I even took Monday off to clean. I plan on doing some shopping, baking, and we will be decorating our tree that H brought. D12 asked him today if he would come on Sunday to decorate it and he called me this afternoon to tell me this.
So, tonight while d12 is at swim I may meet a few friends out for a bite (unless s15 needs me) and then be home with her around 9 to just hang. She and I will be going shopping tomorrow while s15 has to be at the pool most of the day. I am looking forward to that.
I promise Snodderly that I will not be sitting and obsessing about H this weekend. I will just pray that you are right and he will figure this out. I worry that he is in therapy to pacify his family and to show that he is fine and made good decisions, I just pray I am wrong and he will be guided back to me.
That’s it for now. Not sure how we are spending the holidays….it has always been with H’s family. I will plan on our own thing until I hear otherwise. No matter what, I am looking forward to us all being off from 12/21/07 to 1/2/08.
