Bear...one more thing... I keep a word document where I copy and paste any info from threads that I find helpful or significant. It is really helpful to go back and read when I'm feeling down...and is usefel for moments like these when trying to help someone else...here's another quote that really helped me and I thought would be relevent for you too.
I apologize to the author as I cannot remember who to give credit to!
Quote:
Dropping the rope is not something you do. It is a place that you reach.
You reach it when although you still love your spouse and would still like to see the marriage restored, you have begun to live for yourself happily again.
You drop the rope at the exact moment you know in your gut and in your soul that you ARE okay and further, that you will ALWAYS be okay. No matter what.
Can't say I've fully dropped the rope...but I'm loosening my grip. J~
