Time for honesty & truth for a new beginning

[phbear316]

I need to know how do you find the strength and keep going? I feel i cannot go any deeper in my sole and find the heart to keep up with this. I don't want to give up, i want my marriage I want my H and i to start over with a clean slate. But how do i find the strength. I feel I have no more to give. I taped myself out, my heart is drained, and my sole is empty.

I feel with this wedding thing, I'm standing here with sh*& all over my face. because I;m letting him rub my face in it.

My H is a liar, a cheater, a snake in the grass, but i still love him. Do I want to go home right now and take a knife to all his suits, you bet, do I want to go home and take all his white dress shirts and take sharpie markers to them you bet. Will I no, what will it get me? anger on his part.

I wonder if he will even get a card, and another thing put my money in the envelope for a wedding that I am not going to , Its my money too
DAM it

Maybe I did get his attention,I did not break down when h told me, I did not yell, cry. Just said what i had to in the tone of I'm not happy, which is true.