My honest advice is that if your WAW is anything like mine, she probably has been planning this for years. The best advice I can give is leave her alone and don't take her up on any type of argument. Friend of mine said "submit to everything - no matter what". My ex has turned into another person. She has completely changed her circle of friends down to a few "enablers" and the OM. I don't know if OM is giving her money, because she works part-time and does not seem to have any financial issues - yet. I find it very hard to believe that a person can maintain this completely different style of living forever.
Read through the Mid Life Crisis (MLC) stuff, especially the post on MLC for Dummies. One of the things the WAW does quite well is turning the spouse into a monster. They are very good at convincing themselves that what they are doing is right. The MLC behavior read like a movie script for my ex.
I'm sure there are a lot of people that have worked things out. I was just like you - I'm an engineer and like statistics, so was also looking for odds of things working out, etc. Things just have to run their course. Probably heard it before, but you will always be connected through your kids. Be a great dad. I wasn't really there much for my girls before the divorce. Now, they think I'm the greatest. This is really important, because the WAW probably won't have much interest in anything but doing what makes them feel good - hence the OM. Kids are very powerful in bringing relationships back together.
Last and most important - if you aren't already, get involved in a good church. God can work miracles!
