Another newbie with a problem - long story

[Stormchaser]

I said to her that I remember a month ago when she said how proud she was of me for being gentlemenly, especially the time I sent a massive bouquet of flowers to her job for our anniversary. Actually, how I ALWAYS send anniversary flowers to work. And she DID tell me during that same conversation that that she has found me more attractive since I've concentrated on doing those things she says turns her on, such as opening doors, sending cutesy emails and texts, listening without giving my opinion.....

I didn't say this to be smug...but I was wondering where she was coming from. She paused and said...you're right. Followed by more silence.

On that same vein, I said that since therapy my anxiety disorder is a thing of the past. I am completely cured of panic attacks as evidenced by our last several years together, when we went to Disney, numerous small trips to amusement parks and beaches, camping up and down the coast. Again, I'm not sure where she's coming from, although the anxiety was prevalent early on in the marriage, its been gone the last several years. I told her I wasn't trying to be a dick about this, but I just don't understand where she came from and if she could tell me why she brought it up.

She surprised me by saying that she didn't know why she brought it up, that maybe she was looking for something to bitch about but when she thinks about it, I made good points and then added that she really can't blame me for not wanting to hang around her sister because she's (sister) is bipolar and has massive mood swings, which can drive anyone crazy. It has nothing to do with not wanting to visit, it has EVERYTHING to do with not wanting to deal with someone who is lovey dovey one minute and drops the F bomb repeatedly the next.

I was really expecting some kind of resistance, but being calm and discussing things rationally must've made some kind of impact. Then I brought up the situation Corri mentioned, about the friends she has and spending time this them is more important than quality time with me, and how maybe subconsciously that makes me appear needy, then she runs some more, then I complain more, then she runs SOME more....she said it doesn't make me look needy, but that it makes me look, in her mind, like a guy that complains that he "doesn't get any".

Continued next post