There is nothing else to negotiate.... My M will not official be over until the 1st week of the new year. As of now everything is aggreed upon and for all intents and purposes I am D'd. The settlement meeting took about 3hrs and for the most part was cordial. I now know what CS is going to be and when I get to see my girls.
It kills me that I nolonger get to see my girls on a daily basis. XW feels that this D is justified and will make everything better for her. Well what about our girls? This doesn't make life any better for them. Was our M that bad that we couldn't even attempt to reconcile? I don't think so and will probably go to my grave feeling that this D was senseless.
I know that I have a lot of life still ahead of me and better times are coming....But that doesn't make this hurt anyless. I lost my partner, my best friend.... Now I get to go at this alone for a while. Who knows what life has instore for me... I just need to move past this time.
I will always have fond memories of my W. The three most significant moments in my life all revolved around her and our family. I don't know if I will ever be able to top witnessing the birth of my two girls. There is something awe strucking about being there for that. I used to think of our wedding day and remember how great it was and the life that we started at that moment. Hopefully I can replace that memory in the future with someone that will appreciate me like I will them.
I knew this was coming...I have been preparing for it in someway now for a year. I just never saw myself not being married to my XW.
I wish there wasn't an industry that fed off D and almost encourage's it. The holiday are here and a new year is upon us. I guess that means that it is time to turn over a new leaf. One that it is just me and my girls.
I tried but I could not save my M. I cry and pray for my girls and their well being. I pray that they grow up with the security of knowing that I will always be their for them and love them. I pray that God will protect them and keep them safe. I pray that my XW does not expose them to anything that will hurt them in anyway. I pray that my XW can rid herself of bitterness and hostility towards me and maybe one day realize how senseless this D really was. I pray that the pain of all this will one day go away. I still pray for a miracle. I just don't see that happening.
I pray for better outcomes for all of you on this site.
