Also.. MIL called to ask me about the papers for the horses. Evidently she has another buyer coming to look at the mare.
I want to rip that woman a new one.. how can she condone W's blatant disregard for our children. How can she as a woman look at the fact that her daughter is not even CLOSE to being divorced yet she "loves" and spends sooo much time with OM. Has our kids all mixed up in the R too. MIL is happy as a pig in dung to babysit all 4 kids.. hang out with OM.
I can't wait for the horses to be sold.. MIL insists that they both be sold. Good.. W needs to be smacked around.
I have not taken her off any of our stuff.. not changed the locks or codes to the house and she's worried about her stupid little checking account. Jog on for F*CK'S SAKE.
Maybe it's time to do those things. You'll protect yourself and continue to detatch at the same time. I know that you've wanted to leave the door open for her, but doing that makes you vulnerable. She really hasn't done anything to deserve that kind of trust from you.
Wanna know what else is in St. Louis???? LWB, booo yah!!!
Just caught up on your thread. Yeah, ummm, jar's wife....you are asking HIM about HIS life while your boyfriend is waiting in the car. Dear Lord, what to do...what to do with these spouses.....
OK.. since LWB is in St. Louis.. that's where we are going!!
Nugget.. totally agree and will be doing that next. Not that it will present itself as an issue anytime soon, but I can imagine the day that it does.
So.. had a great night.. went out with some friends.. some lady gave me her #.. got checked out.. I love being me sometimes!!
W called.. D's were very excited that they were going to OM's.. but, BOTH D's cried and said they wanted to come home with me. I can hear W in the background "But you just said you wanted to be with me!! Don't say anything bad about me Jarhead" All I said was that I loved them.. I missed them.. and I'd see them on Sunday. They seemed fine with that.
Evidently, they were not. W called.. let it roll.. was having TOO much fun. She left me this sad message about how the girls were "My girls.. Whatever you did, they love you more than me" I couldn't make out the rest of the message because she was basically crying.
Looooow self esteem. Plus I think she's really getting sideways about the "mysterious" air I've been putting on.
On my way home from work, I told her to make sure she called (she had called and asked for a return call) by 6. When we talked she said "Why.. do you have a hot date?" I said "Yes.. I'm meeting some friends later" Then.. she wanted to talk about Sunday.. "We can talk in the morning.." I won't be available in the morning.. she didn't like that answer.
I'm sorry jarhead. it seems like you mil adds fuel to the fire. If she had any morals she would point out to her daughter that what she is doing is wrong.. obviously your W gets her actions from someone, wonder who??
As far as the girls loving you more than her...uh.. what was that about... she is extremly immature like ive never seen.
keep her guessing, but in all honesty, this will all bottom out on her eventually.
tal
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Jar, My .02 about your girls loving you more ... you've been the stable parent lately, you've been there for them, you represent life as they know it while their Mom has done a 180. Of course they want to be with you! Kids are resilient but need us to be a dependable, predictable reference points in their lives. Right now you are their compass!
That has ALWAYS been an issue. She's the one who tries to "buy" their love. Anytime we would go somewhere, she had to buy them something. She's always been more concerned what her girls think of her than being their parent. I've heard "They love you more than me" Probably a million times.
I simply tell her.. "I do nothing out of the ordinary. I'm harder on them than you.. they respect boundaries and discipline."
I also believe the fact that I have the house and the level of "normalcy" it presents is a factor. Plus.. they are probably just as confused not knowing when they are going to see OM.. which place they will be sleeping in.. what time.. etc etc.
You know how kids are.. D5 will get made and say "I don't love you!!" I know it's a tantrum.. W takes it seriously.
I've lost a ton of respect for the in-laws. I know they have to stand by their D, but they have to think about the grandkids. Nuts!!
So.. last night was cool. Spent the evening/night at my folks place. Hung out with a family friend (female.. married.. ) I haven't seen in a while. Yet another twisted R that should have been. Nothing happened.. I wouldn't be a hypocrite.
Got home this morning and for some reason had a feeling that OM and his kids would be attending the Santa pic trip this afternoon. I was prepared to not go if that was the case. Pinged W and asked what time we were meeting and if OM and his kids would be there. She called and I admit I was in a short mood. Once I found out he wasn't going, I felt a little better. Other than the fact that they obviously spent the night at his house.
So I texted her and apologized for being snippy.. I have a ton on my mind. She responded with "Don't be afraid to talk to me."
So.. we get to the mall and it's going to be an hour/hour and a half to see Santa. So we took the D's to the play area and talked. She mentioned something about getting D5 into dance. I told her we needed to figure out the separation agreement due to finances and we could do that. She said "So you're ready to sign the official papers?" I said "No.. but the separation agreement is the next step." I think it ticked her off.. she called and left a message for her L.. only because she said "We'll get it started.." I told her that I had been working with my L for almost a month now.. her L is dragging it out.
So she again asked me what was going on.. I decided to test the waters.. I told her that I missed her. She said she missed me to. She said "Well.. you are seeing someone aren't you?" I didn't really answer the question.. I said "I still miss you"
She said that she wished I would open up to her.. that was one of the reasons she wasn't happy with us. I told her it was hard.. that it hurt to be friendly/intimate with her to only have her go spend the weekend with him.
I think it may have really set in.. She didn't argue which is the opposite of what normally happens. She looked sad.
D's took a great pic with Santa... they are photography pros. W still looked sad when we went separate ways.
We did have a good hug when we first met.. she mumbled something about not meaning to give me such a long hug, but she couldn't help it or something like that.
So.. who knows. I'm starting to be more comfortable without her. There would still be much much much to work on, but I feel like this may be a final stand for now.
) I haven't seen in a while. Yet another twisted R that should have been. Nothing happened.. I wouldn't be a hypocrite.