WAW staying, I'm leaving to give her space..

[FaithfulH]

jaBRWok,

One minute it seems to me that you are doing very well at this DB thing (despite not having read the book)...the next? I don't understand why you continue to talk so much! A major mistake....R and M discussion. Your W is NOT ready for this....even if she seems to want to go there. As a dear friend of mine says, "Zip your lips"...little nicer than STFU. Give it a rest!

Regarding OM discussion, on the one hand, I agree with COG that asking about OM in the right context might not be harmful...but, this latest post seems to indicate to me that you've already discussed that and much more.

While my sitch was different than yours, my W told me she had "trust" issues with me as well. Let me put it as simple as I can. Nothing you SAY is going to help! In fact, it is likely to hurt. The only thing that matters is your actions...what she SEES! Think of it this way....say you and I come upon each other in a dark alley and I look really shady...kinda like this:

a guy fresh out of prison, unemployed, and missing several teeth

(..sorry, COG...couldn't resist) So, I tell you "don't worry I know I have a reputation for hurting people but I don't want to hurt you". Would you trust me...or would you be afraid? I hate to say it...but, the parallels with your W's emotional state are many. She has experienced hurt that she believes came from you. She is in a bad place emotionally right now and needs space to deal with her own stuff. You are dishonoring her when you violate that request!

I'm feeling smothered just reading about all of your discussions. I don't think they are helping!

...and another thing, as we used to say in the military RTFM (read the f***ing manual)!