still trying...update

[LuvMyHusband]

Hi all,
I keep losing my thread! Sorry for the new post. My H and I are still trying. He said that he just wasn't ready to come home yet. Ok. Come to find out he thought I was doing things that I had in the past, snooping. I told him I really wasn't. Apparently someone tried to hack into his paypal account and he assumed it was me. I told him that if they have the ip address which they must, that he could get it and compare it to mine. He would see that they didn't match. He has dropped it since.

I have been working on taking responsibility for myself, actions and behavior that helped to get us where we are. I'm not focusing on his, just mine. It seems to be helping. I have been friendly, kind, and flirty. He has said in the past that when I am like this that he finds me very attractive and he likes to be around me. We have been talking easier and playing. He actually teased me last night for the first time in months. Called me a dork when I bluffed him in poker and won. lol.

He has said that he didn't feel loved, accepted, wanted and blown off. So a 180 for me is to subtly help him to feel it. I was bad...so bad. I took pictures with my cell of me in lingerie and sent them to his email address. He completely flipped out. His reaction was really funny.

What's really hard is that he is so stuck. Seems like it to me anyway. I don't believe the OW is in the picture anymore. She hasn't been for a few weeks now. I guess after we had it out the last time and I saw them playing cards at the site we all play, he decided he couldn't do it anymore. I went dark, she got witchy and he was done. She really got bad when he kept rebuffing her. He seems to have been able to put her out of his mind bc he has been closer to me ever since. Now I have to leave her behind too and that is hard.