Hey I thought I'd chime in with some advice. I'm not really thinking that clearly about the issues right now not feeling "in the trenches" so to speak. But thought I try.
How not to react to the rejection?
Figure out your stories. The ones that you tell your self that entrench your position many times are these things that we run on our selves causing us frustration and pain. It's not the rejection in the moment it's the story that pisses us off and if we "cling" to that story and identify with it it becomes a feedback loop.
"You don't care about what I want" that's an example of a story that I would tell myself. Try to examine your stories and distance the story from the moment of "trauma" when rejected. Thats one thing that has really worked for myself.
For your wife maybe you need to ask like I have that when you're being rejected that she do it lovingly. She doesn't have to respond with maybe later or we could try on sunday at noon. Just ask that she try to recognizes how you are feeling and the legitimacy of your feelings, not a postponement or a promise she can't keep.
