Holy crap, that was a weird response.. she answered nothing, and made not sense of anything...
Funny thing is that even though I said I edited her response, I didn't really. I just removed her name/signature -- the rest is the unaltered text. So, yeah, this is precisely the sort of "feedback" I get from her. Maddening, huh?
And she accuses me of not being a good communicator.
NCB, Sounds like you might have MIL problems too, join the crowd. Go read my latest thread. How did we get so lucky to have not only OP problems, but also MIL problems!
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I don't know if I'd answer her, because it just doesn't make sense.
Tal, I wrote a draft letter last night, but I recognize how ludicrous her responses have been, and am wondering whether it might be futile to even respond to such fogginess, as you also note. Here's what I have so far:
"I am asking myself whether am I about to waste my breath once again...
You continually ascribe motives to my actions that are just not so. If you perceived any resentment against you, it was for your actions, not you. I have tried to tell you for a long time that you are not helping me by trying to "fix" me -- if you try to intercede in those times where I am experiencing anger, sadness and/or frustration with any given situation, it is no wonder that you end up making yourself the target for perpetuating those emotions. It was never supposed to be your responsibility, even as my spouse, to control how I feel. And then you take my emotions, directed at you or not, personally. In that you have been greatly misguided.
I have tried to tell you that. MC also tried to tell you that.
And yes, I am sorry to say that I no longer see you up high on a pedestal -- but is it that I knocked you off that pedestal or more that you jumped off? As the mother of our children I owe you the respect that deserves, even where you may not live up to it.
I know I have not been on a pedestal in your eyes for a very long time now. Whether I no longer deserve to be or not is immaterial. I am slowly getting to the place where your respect for me, or lack thereof, has no bearing on me, my mood or my life.
We both just need to practice a little more humility than we have in the past -- and realize we are ALL at the same level, humbled before the foot of Jesus' cross."
I am afraid I answered myself in the first sentence. I think it might be more prudent to just not say anything in response to this.
This is just an observation but if you think you answered yourself in your first sentence then why bother putting your heart out there to be bruised again.
And when it comes to these pedestals just think hard. I had my H so high up on one. He said that it wasn't a compliment; it was an encumbrance. He enjoyed crumbling it.
Take care NoCodes.
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Yes, that's is precisely the point. I am starting to realize that there is really nothing more to be said by me at this point. It's in her court now, and I need to give her her space, and put my focus back on me. She keeps saying we need to communicate, but she's not really doing so herself. All my efforts to accommodate her have done, so far, is to keep me from moving forward.
I am just going to file this letter away and move on.
NCB, All of the WAS certainly seem to be playing this no communication card, don't they? If they had communicated more with us in the beginning, perhaps there wouldn't be a need for this board!
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I really appreciate all of you, more than words can express. I don't know what I would do without this forum and the chance to meet with such warm, caring and (most of all) truly understanding souls.
