Today has started off in a horrible way. H came to the house in the morning and went in the basement to start his laundry. I had stuff in both the dryer and washer. H said he put stuff from dryer in basket and from washer into dryer. I didn't react well and went down to fold stuff from dryer. It was wrinkle from being in all night and I said it would have to be tumbled. H said he could do it and or put it with the stuff that was in dryer. I said that wouldn't help because it would need folded and I wouldn't be there. H said he could do it. POed me because all this was going on in front of D10 and it was making me look bad. H told me he could take his stuff to the laundrymat. I said no because that would make me feel worse and would also make me look worse to D10.
So I cried all the way to D15s school. She asked what was wrong and I told her PMS. (That is going on too and it makes things worse.) My C told me last week that I need to tell H how much I miss him and that the S has been harder than I thought it would be. Not DBing but I am paying for her advice. I see her on Monday and wanted to talk to H before then. I just didn't see the possibility of a productive conversation. Like an idiot I called his office phone and left a voice mail pouring out my thoughts. That was 2 1/2 hours ago and of course I have heard nothing. I did tell him it is up to him whether or not he wants to share his feelings about the S. I don't expect to hear anything. I'm sure I have completely thrown the train of the DB track.
This completely sucks. I'm doing a terrible job of detaching. I don't know how I will make it through Christmas when we can't even talk to each other.
I can't take hearing H tell the girls he loves them and misses them anymore. I feel like he is stabbing a knife in my heart everytime he tells them. It brings me to tears because he doesn't say it to me.
Today has started off in a horrible way. H came to the house in the morning and went in the basement to start his laundry. I had stuff in both the dryer and washer. H said he put stuff from dryer in basket and from washer into dryer. I didn't react well and went down to fold stuff from dryer. It was wrinkle from being in all night and I said it would have to be tumbled. H said he could do it and or put it with the stuff that was in dryer. I said that wouldn't help because it would need folded and I wouldn't be there. H said he could do it. POed me because all this was going on in front of D10 and it was making me look bad. H told me he could take his stuff to the laundrymat. I said no because that would make me feel worse and would also make me look worse to D10. 
