Pregnant and abandoned #3

[JennyF]

As for my H wanting to take our newborn overnight, that scares the crap out of me. I don't trust him with a newborn. He is very immature and I certainly do not want that OW getting her hands on my baby.

I am really struggling with this right now. We already have a D together who is almost 3...yet for some reason our son does not feel like "ours" to me. H put me thru intense emotional pain thru my whole pregnancy and then left me at 33 wks. And now I'm supposed to hand him over and say "go see your darling father??" Not to mention how it sickens me to think he'll be with OW! I'm in the process of finding out if I can legally keep my kids away from her.

The thing is, my H was always been a great father to our D. He thinks he still is and that what he is doing has nothing to do with them. But I don't think he's even the same person and my kids deserve a better father than the monster he's turned into.

For now...he's not taking him. I'm not ready and he can wait until I am.

And you know what blindsided? You've got a long time before you have to deal with this stuff, so focus on yourself right now and building your strength. I had a hard time not looking to the future as well, but it will get easier.

Please don't give up on me. I can be a slow learning when it comes to matters of the heart. But, once it clicks, I'm off like a race horse. You'll see.

Just remember that you can be doing more damage than good. To increase your chances of getting what you want...you need to STOP THE CHASE. Go back and reread the LRT. I've told you many times I wish I knew these things at your stage. At 33 wks I did what you're doing and it made things infinitely worse. OK...now I sound like the broken record!

We're not giving up on you...we're here to encourage you. My heart and my head battle it out all the time and my heart usually wins. My head is starting to get wise though...and my heart is getting stronger. Yours will too.
J~